Do you have a child between the ages of 17 and 23 living with you? If you're in constant conflict with an older child over everything from curfews (should they have one or shouldn't they?) to getting a job to alcohol use, we offer advice on how to set reasonable limits, and how to coach your child to responsibility and independence.
Parents feel they have to take care of their kids, whether they are 9 or 19 years old. But as kids get older, they engage in more risky behavior, and "taking care of them" becomes more challenging. When they're five, they're climbing the monkey bars and you're worried they're going to break their arm. At eleven they're starting to play football or baseball and you're afraid they might get hurt with a piece of equipment. At 16, they're starting to drive, they're often getting money on their own, and they're around people with drugs. On the surface, they may seem much more independent, but actually they are simply much more able to put their parents off and hide what's really going on with them.
Kids between the ages of 17 and 23 have a lot of thinking errors. Just like you can have a spelling error, and misspell a word, you can have a thinking error in which you misread life's problems and come out with the wrong solutions. When kids start hitting their late teens, you'll hear them saying things that indicate they see themselves as victims. "It's not my fault." "I couldn't help it." "I only stayed out an hour late and you want to punish me?" They become much more adept at manipulating their parents by blaming them for being too rigid and strict. You'll hear kids say, "I'm getting older now. You should trust me more." But the fact is, they're not getting that much older. Teenage mentality lasts from early adolescence until 22 or 23 years of age. Most of the research shows kids are still using the same parts of their brain at 22 that they were using at 15. Their brain is still developing in their early 20's. So they are not that much more prepared for adult situations. But parents can get sucked into the thinking error that "You owe me. You owe me a place to live. You shouldn't be too rigid." When parents hear this enough, they start to feel guilty for the rules by which they have chosen to live. They begin to think they're too strict just for trying to implement the rules they've always had since their kids were young.
How to Enforce the Rules of the House with Older Kids
I think parents should have two levels of rules with their older children who are still living at home. The first are the rules of your household that reflect your values, structure and moral authority. For example: People don't abuse people around here. That doesn't change at 18 or 19. That rule never changes. No drugs and alcohol, especially if you're under age. That doesn't change at 18 or 19. That's the rule. No stealing. No lying. I would keep those rules very clear, because you don't want to start having double standards with older kids, especially if you have other younger kids in the home.
The second level of rules is the one that enables parents to live with young adults. Certainly, young adults should get more responsibility and independence, but they have to earn it. If you've got a job, you get more independence. Should kids be able to stay out all night because they're over 18? Absolutely not. If they're living in your house, they have to let you know that they're okay. That may mean calling in if they decide to sleep over at someone's house. You have a right as a parent to expect this.
The most important part of having rules with older children is the discussion that establishes those rules. When a child is about to turn 18, parents need to have a serious discussion about what the rules are going to be in order for everyone to live together. It should be a sit down, and you should write everything down that you agree to so that everything is clear. What can you do? What can't you do? How will we support you in what you can do? What's going to happen if you do what you're not supposed to do? What is forbidden? These things should be clearly spelled out.
There's a thin line between carrying your kids and being supportive of them. I think when someone is 18, if they finish high school, they should be supporting themselves financially. There should be no job too menial that they can't take it until they find something better. Many kids don't give a darn in high school, aren't ready for a better job, and they resent the fact that they have to work at McDonald's, 7-11 or some other starting out position. So they avoid doing it and think they're better than that. This is a thinking error-a complete cognitive distortion that you shouldn't accept as a parent. Parents need to say to older kids, "You made your choices in high school, and now if you want to better yourself, you're going to have to go to school at night. If you want to better yourself, you're going to have to start out in a junior college. If we can't pay for college full time, you're going to have to work and go to school part time."
Everyone in the home should know what the rules are, and it's important to lay it all out before the child turns 18. For example, the rule on drinking: "If you come home drunk, you will not be allowed to live in our house." It can be you're out of the house for a few days, a few weeks or forever. Just establish the rule, write it down and explain to the child that he is over 18, and this is how we have to live with this issue. If kids get belligerent and violent after 18 (or at any time, in my opinion) the police should be called.
Think of Your Adult Children as a Guests-Not as Children
If you feel compromised and taken advantage of by an older child, you need to realize this: the child is an adult now. He may not act it, but he is an adult. He's living under your roof. He has to follow your laws. I want you to think of your adult children as guests. Not as children. That's the most important thing to do. They're done with high school; they are now guests in your home. How would you let a guest act? When would you draw the line with a guest? When would you feel you have to call the police with a guest?
When my son went to college, one of the biggest shocks he had was when we started to refer to his room as the guest room. I remember him saying, "But that's my room." We said, "No, that's the guest room. You can stay there anytime you want, for as long as you want, as long as you live our way." We said it with love and kindness, but we wanted him to see his role in a different way-as an adult.
For parents who are very anxious and have a lot of fears about their kids, this sounds like a difficult thing to say. I know that. But it's really the best thing to say because you need to let these kids know that they have to start to make it on your own. In effect, you are saying, "You've had 18 years to learn how to make it on your own. Now's the time to put it into practice. Whatever you've chosen not to learn or chosen not to do over those 18 years, you're going to have to pay a price for that now."
The bottom line is, sometimes kids have to start out small. There's no shame in that, and you have to make that very clear. Even if it doesn't match up with what you had hoped for your child. Many young adult children often have a false sense of entitlement. I met many kids in my practice who refused to go to school, and could only read and write at a seventh or eighth grade level at best. They told me they were going to be video game programmers, basketball players or rap singers. That's how they were putting off their anxiety. If you're talking to a kid who says, "I'm not making it in school, but I'm gonna be a rap singer. I wrote a few songs tonight," that's the way that that kid is postponing his anxiety. What he's really saying is, "I'm so scared about the future, I have to make up this fantasy, and then I'm gonna cling to it." Then, if you challenge that fantasy and say, "Wait a minute. There's 20 million kids out there. What makes you think you can do it?" the kid says, "You don't believe in me. You don't have any faith in me." He turns it right around on you until you're the problem. His not studying is not the problem. You're not believing in his fantasy becomes the problem.
When you have these different currents coming together in a home where parents are living with an older child, it can get very uncomfortable for everyone, if not hostile. The way to keep that hostility at bay is to have clarity beforehand. Get the expectations and the consequences down on paper--literally. Write them down and expect the child to live by them.
I have known many parents who couldn't get their adult children out of bed. They think that they're helping their adult children by giving them a roof over their head and not making them be responsible because they're afraid for their kids. But what they're afraid of can only be cured by that kid getting out of bed and doing something for himself. The parent is afraid the child is not going to amount to anything, that he's not going to find a good job, that he's not going to make it in school, that he's going to get into trouble socially. But the thing that addresses those fears is to get him up at eight o'clock in the morning and get him out there looking for a job. Tell him to leave with his lunch, a cell phone and the internet want ads and don't come back.
This may sound harsh. You're pushing someone out into a world that they have to deal with. But you're not pushing them out of a plane without a parachute. You're pushing them out into the street without any money. The solution to that problem is getting a job. Many times parents use their own fears, anxieties and sense of guilt and remorse to justify not doing what they would do to a guest. Out of fear, they choose not to expect out of their child what they expect out of themselves and each other every day
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Raising Children in Godly way
Raising children is the most important job in the world. Raising children is a wonderful and challenging life experience. Here's the problem: people assume that raising children is only the job of the women, men do not take child raising seriously in our culture. If raising children is so hard, why do people still want to have kids? Downgrading the importance of raising children is the greatest evil of our times. It is time to face it, raising children is the responsibility of parents. Raising children is a never-ending job. Raising children is much harder than it looks, but with patience and hope, children can mature into very emotionally-secure adults.
Child care is a partnership. Child care is a necessary part of life for many families. First-time parents explore and document the care and development of a human baby. Do you feel comfortable with someone else taking care of your child? Taking care of yourself is a vital part of keeping your child safe. No job is more important to you than taking care of your own child. I don't think that the care of children should be gender specific.
Parents play a very important role in when raising children in a safe and loving home homes. Parents recognize and deal with their children's most challenging traits in a positive manner. Parents earning low or moderate incomes are under extreme pressure to meet the costs of raising children and overall household expenses. All parents face challenges in raising children. Parents decide to accept the responsibility of raising children. Therefore, workshop models for teaching parents how to cope with the stress associated with raising children has been developed.
Good child care provides parents with an extended family to help share in the challenges and joys of raising children. Creating a stable family environment and raising children should be a joy. It recognizes the critical role that the family plays in American society and in raising children. Poor family values and poor communication skills with children is what leads children to rebel. Siblings can cause many joys and frustrations in any family. It is difficult to balance this philosophy with a family life that places value on raising children.
Raising children is not an easy task. Raising children is at heart a practice that engages and embodies a rich variety of developed and undeveloped theories. The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side. Like all parents, they have found that raising children is both challenging and unpredictable. It seems to me that raising children is a catch-22 when it comes to finances.
Child care is a partnership. Child care is a necessary part of life for many families. First-time parents explore and document the care and development of a human baby. Do you feel comfortable with someone else taking care of your child? Taking care of yourself is a vital part of keeping your child safe. No job is more important to you than taking care of your own child. I don't think that the care of children should be gender specific.
Parents play a very important role in when raising children in a safe and loving home homes. Parents recognize and deal with their children's most challenging traits in a positive manner. Parents earning low or moderate incomes are under extreme pressure to meet the costs of raising children and overall household expenses. All parents face challenges in raising children. Parents decide to accept the responsibility of raising children. Therefore, workshop models for teaching parents how to cope with the stress associated with raising children has been developed.
Good child care provides parents with an extended family to help share in the challenges and joys of raising children. Creating a stable family environment and raising children should be a joy. It recognizes the critical role that the family plays in American society and in raising children. Poor family values and poor communication skills with children is what leads children to rebel. Siblings can cause many joys and frustrations in any family. It is difficult to balance this philosophy with a family life that places value on raising children.
Raising children is not an easy task. Raising children is at heart a practice that engages and embodies a rich variety of developed and undeveloped theories. The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side. Like all parents, they have found that raising children is both challenging and unpredictable. It seems to me that raising children is a catch-22 when it comes to finances.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Where to Look for the Perfect Parenting Resource
All parents need a good parenting resource of their own. Since parenting is such a tough occupation a parenting resource can help make things easier for any parent. How and where can a parent find a relevant parenting resource? There is no one sure and perfect parenting resource for everyone. A parent may have to determine for himself/herself which parenting resource is helpful and applicable. There are however specific areas where one can get a parenting resource. You can get your parenting resource from the following:
The Book and Video Haven
Any place where they sell or lend a vast selection of books and videos may be a parenting resource. You can go around looking for a bestseller parenting resource or something created by experts in the field of parenting and psychology to get a good parenting resource. Surprisingly, an experiential parenting resource account or even fictional stories of parenting may be useful parenting resource for the discriminating parent.
Comprehensive Sites and Links
Not surprisingly, the internet can have every kind of parenting resource imaginable. You have the option of checking out sites that will provide you with a comprehensive parenting resource section or one that will provide you with specific parenting resource information. You can also check link or .net sites if you want to have a brief overview of some other sites that may be good places for a parenting resource.
Message Boards and Others
You may prefer a parenting resource that’s highly practical and that comes from people who have actually experienced parenting. You can use parents’ forums and message boards as your parenting resource. In this kind of parenting resource you can swap stories and practical tips and information. A lot of parents may warm up to this kind of parenting resource because it is conversational, light and a fun way to go about talking about parenting.
Formal Classes and Support Groups
A clear and structured parenting resource may come from such formal areas as parenting courses and support groups. This type of parenting resource will surely offer highly professional pieces of information. There is no doubt that if you enroll in a parenting resource class, you will get a load of theories and actual practice accounts from trained professionals in the field of parenting. Support groups can also offer parenting resource that may be both categorized as formal expert quality and personally supportive and uplifting in nature.
People You Know
A practical parenting resource source would be people you actually know. Your own parents, family, friends and colleagues may each be a parenting resource. Ask these live, actual parenting resource people what they can share based on what they know and their experience. This may be the cheapest and best parenting resource you can ever have.
However and wherever you choose to get your parenting resource make sure that your parenting resource is applicable to you and your family. Remember, not all families are the same.
The Book and Video Haven
Any place where they sell or lend a vast selection of books and videos may be a parenting resource. You can go around looking for a bestseller parenting resource or something created by experts in the field of parenting and psychology to get a good parenting resource. Surprisingly, an experiential parenting resource account or even fictional stories of parenting may be useful parenting resource for the discriminating parent.
Comprehensive Sites and Links
Not surprisingly, the internet can have every kind of parenting resource imaginable. You have the option of checking out sites that will provide you with a comprehensive parenting resource section or one that will provide you with specific parenting resource information. You can also check link or .net sites if you want to have a brief overview of some other sites that may be good places for a parenting resource.
Message Boards and Others
You may prefer a parenting resource that’s highly practical and that comes from people who have actually experienced parenting. You can use parents’ forums and message boards as your parenting resource. In this kind of parenting resource you can swap stories and practical tips and information. A lot of parents may warm up to this kind of parenting resource because it is conversational, light and a fun way to go about talking about parenting.
Formal Classes and Support Groups
A clear and structured parenting resource may come from such formal areas as parenting courses and support groups. This type of parenting resource will surely offer highly professional pieces of information. There is no doubt that if you enroll in a parenting resource class, you will get a load of theories and actual practice accounts from trained professionals in the field of parenting. Support groups can also offer parenting resource that may be both categorized as formal expert quality and personally supportive and uplifting in nature.
People You Know
A practical parenting resource source would be people you actually know. Your own parents, family, friends and colleagues may each be a parenting resource. Ask these live, actual parenting resource people what they can share based on what they know and their experience. This may be the cheapest and best parenting resource you can ever have.
However and wherever you choose to get your parenting resource make sure that your parenting resource is applicable to you and your family. Remember, not all families are the same.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
The Advantages of Attending Parenting Classes
PARENTING CLASSES YOU NEED IT
Parenting can be the toughest job in the world, indeed it is. Even the smartest ones give up on finding the perfect equation for the perfect relationship with your kids. You know why? Because there is no such thing as perfect, there are only ideals and appropriates.
If you are a newbie in the world of parenting, it will be as twice as hard for you. Let’s be honest, all of us wants to be the best parents for our child and who wouldn’t. However, most of us are still uncertain if our so-called way of parenting is correct. If you want to learn a lot of helpful strategies to cope up with the staple challenges of parenting, then help is on the way.
Parenting classes are all the rage of today. Some even take classes even if the baby is still on its way. Parenting classes are facilitated by expert instructors that give out lessons to aid moms on the need. They give out helpful information on different aspects of parenting. If necessary, they will even require some parents to undergo structured parenting program that will teach them a step by step approach on parenting.
The only misconception about parenting classes is that some parents think that it can change their ways of raising a child. What you need to remember is that, these lessons only serve as your guide and the implementation of such all depends upon you. But when the time comes that a real change is required in your usual parenting technique, your instincts will tell you so and you will know it.
If you think that only problematic parents take parenting lessons, you are absolutely wrong. What you don’t know is that even healthy families tend to scout for help if they need it. If you’re one amongst the big majority who want to attend but just don’t have the time to attend parenting classes, you are just in luck because parenting classes are well established on the web. You can just easily take online courses in the comforts of your own home. How’s that for a class?
Parenting is truly the hardest job one could ever have and to note all of these are a lifetime commitment. Parenting classes are mere supplementation for those who wants to seek help from experts. There is no right or wrong way in parenting, however there will always be what we call as the acceptable way.
Parenting can be the toughest job in the world, indeed it is. Even the smartest ones give up on finding the perfect equation for the perfect relationship with your kids. You know why? Because there is no such thing as perfect, there are only ideals and appropriates.
If you are a newbie in the world of parenting, it will be as twice as hard for you. Let’s be honest, all of us wants to be the best parents for our child and who wouldn’t. However, most of us are still uncertain if our so-called way of parenting is correct. If you want to learn a lot of helpful strategies to cope up with the staple challenges of parenting, then help is on the way.
Parenting classes are all the rage of today. Some even take classes even if the baby is still on its way. Parenting classes are facilitated by expert instructors that give out lessons to aid moms on the need. They give out helpful information on different aspects of parenting. If necessary, they will even require some parents to undergo structured parenting program that will teach them a step by step approach on parenting.
The only misconception about parenting classes is that some parents think that it can change their ways of raising a child. What you need to remember is that, these lessons only serve as your guide and the implementation of such all depends upon you. But when the time comes that a real change is required in your usual parenting technique, your instincts will tell you so and you will know it.
If you think that only problematic parents take parenting lessons, you are absolutely wrong. What you don’t know is that even healthy families tend to scout for help if they need it. If you’re one amongst the big majority who want to attend but just don’t have the time to attend parenting classes, you are just in luck because parenting classes are well established on the web. You can just easily take online courses in the comforts of your own home. How’s that for a class?
Parenting is truly the hardest job one could ever have and to note all of these are a lifetime commitment. Parenting classes are mere supplementation for those who wants to seek help from experts. There is no right or wrong way in parenting, however there will always be what we call as the acceptable way.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Inspired Parent Before Conception, Pregnancy, Birth and Baby
Inspired Parenting
There are a few different elements involved in inspired parenting which will I will address in a series of articles.
One of the basics of inspired parenting is the whole idea of co-parenting with the Universe, God, Angels or whatever word/image fits for you. Inspired parenting invites in the support of the universe so you don't have to do it alone.
When you believe you have complete and sole responsibility and have to do it alone, parenting can feel overwhelming (even before conception or during pregnancy!).
When you realize that you are being loved and supported as you parent or prepare for pregnancy the whole experience becomes so much easier and joyful for all concerned (including baby).
Inspired Parenting in Pregnancy or Before
As you actually invite the universe to help you in your different tasks, you are opening the door to great joy and fulfillment in pregnancy and family life.
So every day you can ask that the universe to help you prepare for your baby, to keep your baby safe and to support his/her healthy development. You can ask that it easy for you to feel good, have energy and enjoy the pregnancy.
You can visualise all the support you need during pregnancy and when baby arrives. And any worries you have can be handed over to the angels so that they can sort it out.
In inspired parenting there is trust that all is well, that your baby is safe, that you are protected and cared for and that you can have fun.
There are a few different elements involved in inspired parenting which will I will address in a series of articles.
One of the basics of inspired parenting is the whole idea of co-parenting with the Universe, God, Angels or whatever word/image fits for you. Inspired parenting invites in the support of the universe so you don't have to do it alone.
When you believe you have complete and sole responsibility and have to do it alone, parenting can feel overwhelming (even before conception or during pregnancy!).
When you realize that you are being loved and supported as you parent or prepare for pregnancy the whole experience becomes so much easier and joyful for all concerned (including baby).
Inspired Parenting in Pregnancy or Before
As you actually invite the universe to help you in your different tasks, you are opening the door to great joy and fulfillment in pregnancy and family life.
So every day you can ask that the universe to help you prepare for your baby, to keep your baby safe and to support his/her healthy development. You can ask that it easy for you to feel good, have energy and enjoy the pregnancy.
You can visualise all the support you need during pregnancy and when baby arrives. And any worries you have can be handed over to the angels so that they can sort it out.
In inspired parenting there is trust that all is well, that your baby is safe, that you are protected and cared for and that you can have fun.
ARE YOU THE BEST PARENT
Parent as Leader. Parent Leadership. What does it really mean? Do you think that as a parent you are also a leader and if so, how do you go about that?
I have always found the words Parent and Parenting to be very emotive. For me, they bring up a feeling of exhaustion, frustration and a feeling of being stuck. I'm not sure if this is only me but I have never found these words at all inspiring. Let's face it, bringing a child into the word and caring for them, ensuring that they grow up to be a fine young adult is so much more than about parenting. I remember saying to someone ages ago that I am not a parent; I am a relationship builder and that felt much more freeing for me. I then went on to replace this with the word Leader; I am a leader for my child. To me that feels more like a task to take, a result to achieve, an inspiring outcome to work towards.
Our radio show last week was all about this topic and it really got me thinking of the similarities between parent coaching and corporate coaching. You see, they are not much different. In executive coaching a person comes to a coach to grow and improve their leadership style, perhaps they need to step into a leadership role they feel uncomfortable in, or perhaps they need to make uncomfortable decisions as a leader. Well, parent coaching is the same thing; without knowing it, clients come to me because an area in their parent leadership needs developing. There is a place as a parent that they need to step into and they know it. Despite how ever many books you read, you will not find the answer to this. You see, most of the parenting books tell you what you need to do and not who you need to become to do it. That, I guess, is where my book differs and is why parents who read it feel relief, because they realise that actually, to change things at home they just need to make little adjustments. When we see ourselves as a leader we can see hope where before we saw, well let's just say, our child not doing anything we say. When we see ourselves as a leader we make different choices. Like Benjamin Zander askes, "What am I doing that is not allowing this person to shine?" It puts everything in a different perspective.
A Parent Leader thinks differently and asks different questions of themselves and their child For example, instead of asking, "Why will my child not do anything I ask?" they will ask, "What do I need to do to teach my child responsibility?" Instead of, "What is wrong with my child and how can I fix this?" they will ask, "What do I need to change about my style to support my child in this result? Instead of "Why does my child always speak to me in this way?" they ask, "What am I doing that is allowing another person to treat me like this?" Instead of. "I don't think my child could handle that!" they ask, "If I believe my child could handle this, would I behave differently?"
As you can see, it is entirely a different mindset and as I am sure you can imagine, it produces different results than merely parenting, whatever that is anyway.
So how can you access your leadership and what is required of a good parent leader?
For this I want to turn to the great book, The Four Fold Way, which draws on ancient wisdom and I believe can show us the way forward. In ancient wisdom it was believed that to raise a well adjusted child, four types of leadership were required; the way of the Warrior, Teacher, Visionary and Healer. Now in ancient and past times, children would have gone to different people for these things and certainly within tribes, people would have been given these designated jobs. Think of your own childhood, who was the person you went to when you needed someone to be strong. What about when you needed to heal some pain or have someone gets excited about your future plans? Anyway, you see where I am going. Now in modern day society, this does not happen. Children don't have these different people to go to so as the Parent, we need to search inside ourselves and learn to become all of them when our child needs us to.
I have always found the words Parent and Parenting to be very emotive. For me, they bring up a feeling of exhaustion, frustration and a feeling of being stuck. I'm not sure if this is only me but I have never found these words at all inspiring. Let's face it, bringing a child into the word and caring for them, ensuring that they grow up to be a fine young adult is so much more than about parenting. I remember saying to someone ages ago that I am not a parent; I am a relationship builder and that felt much more freeing for me. I then went on to replace this with the word Leader; I am a leader for my child. To me that feels more like a task to take, a result to achieve, an inspiring outcome to work towards.
Our radio show last week was all about this topic and it really got me thinking of the similarities between parent coaching and corporate coaching. You see, they are not much different. In executive coaching a person comes to a coach to grow and improve their leadership style, perhaps they need to step into a leadership role they feel uncomfortable in, or perhaps they need to make uncomfortable decisions as a leader. Well, parent coaching is the same thing; without knowing it, clients come to me because an area in their parent leadership needs developing. There is a place as a parent that they need to step into and they know it. Despite how ever many books you read, you will not find the answer to this. You see, most of the parenting books tell you what you need to do and not who you need to become to do it. That, I guess, is where my book differs and is why parents who read it feel relief, because they realise that actually, to change things at home they just need to make little adjustments. When we see ourselves as a leader we can see hope where before we saw, well let's just say, our child not doing anything we say. When we see ourselves as a leader we make different choices. Like Benjamin Zander askes, "What am I doing that is not allowing this person to shine?" It puts everything in a different perspective.
A Parent Leader thinks differently and asks different questions of themselves and their child For example, instead of asking, "Why will my child not do anything I ask?" they will ask, "What do I need to do to teach my child responsibility?" Instead of, "What is wrong with my child and how can I fix this?" they will ask, "What do I need to change about my style to support my child in this result? Instead of "Why does my child always speak to me in this way?" they ask, "What am I doing that is allowing another person to treat me like this?" Instead of. "I don't think my child could handle that!" they ask, "If I believe my child could handle this, would I behave differently?"
As you can see, it is entirely a different mindset and as I am sure you can imagine, it produces different results than merely parenting, whatever that is anyway.
So how can you access your leadership and what is required of a good parent leader?
For this I want to turn to the great book, The Four Fold Way, which draws on ancient wisdom and I believe can show us the way forward. In ancient wisdom it was believed that to raise a well adjusted child, four types of leadership were required; the way of the Warrior, Teacher, Visionary and Healer. Now in ancient and past times, children would have gone to different people for these things and certainly within tribes, people would have been given these designated jobs. Think of your own childhood, who was the person you went to when you needed someone to be strong. What about when you needed to heal some pain or have someone gets excited about your future plans? Anyway, you see where I am going. Now in modern day society, this does not happen. Children don't have these different people to go to so as the Parent, we need to search inside ourselves and learn to become all of them when our child needs us to.
Friday, August 29, 2008
TIPS TO STOP BED WETTING
TIPS TO STOP BED WETTING
O STOP BEDBedwetting is quite normal when it is among the infants. It turns out to be a problem when the parents find it at the time of their school going stage or sometimes beyond that. Bedwetting is an involuntary urination during one's sleep which develops frustration among the parents and embarrassment among the children.
Bedwetting is quite a delicate subject to deal with as any punishment or restriction like teasing, scolding etc. gives our negative result. Correct way has to be adopted by the parents in order to overcome this problem. Rather than making child feel bad about this problem of bedwetting, parents have to try and assure child that this could be easily overcome.
Below are some tips that could help the child have night without wetting.
1. A very normal idea to avoid bedwetting is to take the child to toilet before they go to bed. This should be a regular routine so that they go to bed with their bladder empty. It should also be taken care that the child has easy access to toilet in case they need to urinate waking up at night.
2. Another tip is to avoid plenty of fluid intakes at night so that they have lesser tendency to urinate during night that can prevent bedwetting. Parents can stop feeding them with fluids at least two hours before they go to bed.
3. Always use a plastic or rubber sheet that could protect your bed from getting wet by urine and smelling due to bedwetting. This will make it easy in changing bed and child will also not feel much disturbed with wet sheets.
4. Building confidence in a child who wets the bed is more important than treating him otherwise. The feeling of self-belief will help a child overcome bedwetting to a large extend.
5. Praise from the parents when the child does not wet is also as important as how parents try to overcome it. This will make the child understand that the positive side of it is not to wet and be dry till he or she wakes up in the morning.
O STOP BEDBedwetting is quite normal when it is among the infants. It turns out to be a problem when the parents find it at the time of their school going stage or sometimes beyond that. Bedwetting is an involuntary urination during one's sleep which develops frustration among the parents and embarrassment among the children.
Bedwetting is quite a delicate subject to deal with as any punishment or restriction like teasing, scolding etc. gives our negative result. Correct way has to be adopted by the parents in order to overcome this problem. Rather than making child feel bad about this problem of bedwetting, parents have to try and assure child that this could be easily overcome.
Below are some tips that could help the child have night without wetting.
1. A very normal idea to avoid bedwetting is to take the child to toilet before they go to bed. This should be a regular routine so that they go to bed with their bladder empty. It should also be taken care that the child has easy access to toilet in case they need to urinate waking up at night.
2. Another tip is to avoid plenty of fluid intakes at night so that they have lesser tendency to urinate during night that can prevent bedwetting. Parents can stop feeding them with fluids at least two hours before they go to bed.
3. Always use a plastic or rubber sheet that could protect your bed from getting wet by urine and smelling due to bedwetting. This will make it easy in changing bed and child will also not feel much disturbed with wet sheets.
4. Building confidence in a child who wets the bed is more important than treating him otherwise. The feeling of self-belief will help a child overcome bedwetting to a large extend.
5. Praise from the parents when the child does not wet is also as important as how parents try to overcome it. This will make the child understand that the positive side of it is not to wet and be dry till he or she wakes up in the morning.
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